Stay At Home Wifey

So, sometimes...

There is a certain degree of guilt that comes with being a "Homemaker"/ Stay At Home Wife.

Or there is for me.

Why?

Sometimes, I just hate when Hubby comes home complaining about work.

Not all the time, just sometimes.

But, why?

Because it makes me feel a bit guilty, because he works his ass off & I....don't.

I always do, and will always, listen to him vent/complain/or rave (seldom) about work. But some days it just makes me feel bad.

I wish he had a job that he LOVED.

He's a mechanic, and don't get me wrong, he loves cars and likes/loves working on them. And he's naturally good at it.

I swear it's hardwired in his DNA.

But there are just some hobbies/loves that, for some, don't turn out well as careers. 

I think for him, this is one. He's been doing it for 8 (almost 9) years I think.

It's not so much that he hates the job, but more so all of the circumstances that it involves.

He just gets frustrated easily.

He came home early today because he got pissed off that he put a new (re-manned) motor in & it's knocking..(mind you that it's new--even if it is re-manufactured, still shouldn't be knocking)...meaning he'll now have to take it BACK out & FIX THE NEW ONE. & because it is a "new" motor it has a warranty, and being fixed under warranty Hubs won't get paid as much. 

Normally that's no big deal. My Hubs, however, is on commission. 

(Meanwhile my grueling day consisted of sleeping until 10am (early for me), only to doze in and out of sleep until Noon, then cleaning out my purse-which I haven't finished- & then getting online. See where my guilt lies?)

He's never frustrated AT me, which I know, but sometimes he has to reassure me of that. 

I'm just the one that he vents to. You know, typical wife (and husband) role. 

I get his frustrations. And I try to be there for him to unload all of his feelings onto. But people,...sometimes I just can't. He was home for 5 minutes & was telling me about his day (pretty much repeating everything he was saying, multiple times) & I looked at him and snapped "why don't you go take a shower and calm down and then you can come talk to me!"

Wasn't trying be unsympathetic or anything, but I was about ready to cry just because he seemed so miserable at the moment.

It worked. He took that attitude towards me down some notches. Everything else has been peachy. So peachy that we actually already started talking about weekend plans.

(Which will be spending the 17 gift cards that we have accumulated over the past I-don't-know-how-many years.) 

But I'm wondering....

Am I the only one who ever feels bad at times about not working (and by that I mean helping with the income)?

*By the way, as much as I love not working. Let me just say it get OLD. FAST! I've never worked, but sitting at home all the time (with or without anything to do) is just no fun ALL THE TIME. And lately, my SAHW role is about 60% by choice & 40% because I can't find a job. 

I like not working, not even going to lie. And if I didn't absolutely have to, I probably never would. However, I am realistic & know that's not really feasible in today's world. I actually have tried, unsuccessfully, to find a job for the past I'd say year. :)

♥♥♥

Brandy