Thursday, February 28, 2013

Rest In Peace

I don’t deal with death well…at all. But it’s amazing how strong you can be when you have to be.
It is literally my biggest fear in many ways.
I watched yesterday as one of the most important men in my husbands life struggled and drifted away.
His grandpa passed away.
I woke up around noon  & was told I needed to call Hubs that he probably needed me. I asked why, because when someone says that to you, you worry. My mom said he had called and said that his grandpa was in the hospital and it didn’t look good.
We were at the hospital all day/evening. They moved him from the ER to the ICU with the goal of simply keeping him comfortable and pain free.
After much praying my husbands aunt made the choice to take him off of life support & all the family was allowed back for as long as we needed.
He struggled and held on for about 3 hours and then he was gone.
I have never been through that. I’ve never seen someone struggle to breath. I’ve never seen someone take their last breath.
I’m still trying to put on a strong front, but it’s hard to see that. All I knew was that I had to be there for my husband. I wasn’t about to leave his side for anything. Not even to eat. Which, along with crying, caused a terrible headache. I didn’t eat anything, at all, yesterday until we got home at around 8:30 or 9.
I must have been running off of adrenaline or something, because as soon as I got home it all hit me. Nausea, weakness, dizziness...just, ew. I actually had to force the first bits of food down. I’ll not make that mistake again, it wasn’t fun.
It just doesn’t seem real though.
Walking out of the ICU, knowing he was gone…but it still just didn’t quite seem real.
It hurts. I hurt for my husband. He didn’t get to grow up with his dad & so his dad’s parents were always important to him. He felt he had to be there for his grandpa yesterday & so I was there for him. Even though he was unresponsive, the phone was held to his ear so he could hear his 2 brothers, and then he was able to hear his other sons voice, who is in prison. We all believe that’s what he was waiting on, to hear his son’s voice. He was surrounded by a little family & lots of love and we just tried to comfort him and much as possible in those last minutes. I know we all found/find a little peace in knowing that he’s now in Heaven with his own parents & 2 of his sons, one being my father-in-law, and all of his beloved dogs that he’s lost & he’s not hurting or suffering or disabled in any way anymore.
I’m just not good with it. It’s very hard for me to accept losing anyone. It’s hard for me to let go of it.
But, I have to be my husbands rock. And like a said, it’s amazing how strong you can be when you need to be. He handled it fairly well & he’s at work today because there just isn’t much he can do otherwise right now. The viewing is tomorrow afternoon/evening and Saturday morning, with the funeral Saturday afternoon.
Sorry for such a sad post, but that’s what my blog is for, right? My journal. To get it out.
So, I will be probably MIA on here ‘til about Sunday, or so.

Hope everyone has a great day, rest of the week and weekend.


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

What grind my gears...about social media...

So, I spend too much a lot of time online. And I see so much that just bothers me.
Some a lot, others not as much- but still bugs me.
Before I get into it, I'm guilty, to some degree, of almost everything I'm about to complain about.
I can admit that.
BUT...I try to be aware that I'm doing it and keep it at a minimum, or nonexistent.
Some people, however, don't.
This stuff doesn't annoy me all the time, but there are just those times I can't stand it.
I'm observant, and I've noticed multiple people guilty of this I don't feel so bad complaining about it because it applies to more than one person. I'm not indirectly targeted any one person. I'm being as vague as I can, because if someone I know in real life should stumble upon this I don't want to hear the shitstorm of what it is they have to say. That being said, if you do know me in real life, and you just so happen to stumble upon this post, if you think this applies to you...all I can say is if the shoe fits...

Let's start with ever so lovely, Facebook::
1- Pity/complaining about your life..all. the. time.
We all do it. It's fine from time to time. Everyone has those uggghhhhh days. Whatever. But if you're so miserable that that's literally all of you to post about. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. I've been there before, where I've not had anything nice or happy to say...I do get it. But come on. Either you need to change something, OR stop looking for attention. 
2- Complaining about your kids...all. the. time.
I mean, you had them...more so, you raised them. Unless it's small, silly things, it's likely there is a reason they're acting out...communicate with person.
3- The "I'm so in love" to the "Who needs men/women" in a months/or weeks time.
Break ups happen, fine. Chances are this is an all too common thing for you though. Hows about being single, sweet pea? 
4- "Sharing" EVERYTHING.
No, I don't mean any kind of TMI posts, I mean when you see "so&so shared such&such post". Don't make all of your posts pictures that you decided to "share" from another page. Doing it every now and then, fine, whatever. Maybe there is a post or two that you think applies to you or someone else & you just feel the need to let it be known, fine. But if that is 99% of your posts, please don't. There is a website for that, it's called Pinterest, it's fabulous.
5- Being fake.
I'm not saying share you're entire life story. Not at all. But don't be fake. Don't tell someone in person, "I am so pissed off at my boyfriend, I could break up with his ass right now." & then 10 minutes later post "I love this man so much." Um, no? Either you're trying to keep and appearance online, or you just lied to someone's face. Be real. It's actually okay to post that you're pissed of at your guy, as long as you're ready to talk about it a little bit -cause you know someone will ask why-. If you don't wanna talk, don't post, but don't post something false either...especially when other people know better. Also, stop acting different than you really are, or do in person, just to impress someone.
6- When it looks like you don't have kids...but you do.
This could go several ways. First of all, I completely understand not plastering your kids all over the net. But, when you have a child and you don't have the first picture of them, or with them, & you never even mention them, it doesn't look good. I get that for lots of people, it's a protective/precautionary thing. To me, and this is depending on who it is, it make me feel like you're not proud to be their mother. If I had a kid, I'd be proud of it (even on the days they made me want to pull my hair out). I know some of you moms are saying, "yea right, you just wait." lol Another way it could go is the party mom. You're a mom, I'd rather not see your posts or pictures of your wild ass escapades, especially when that's all you seem to care about.

Well shit, why don't you just delete them?
Well, aside from the fact that I'm admittedly nosey at times, there are some people that I would like to keep contact with, for one reason or another. And as I said before, I'm guilty of some of this too, just not quite as bad. There are some though that I really do wonder why I haven't deleted...that's probably the nosey side saying, "because you're nosey."
I bet you're just as annoying.
You're probably right! What do I post excess of? If there was anything I could think of that is annoying to others it'd be the excess of music videos and lyrics. I will post the hell out of lyrics & videos. Luckily, I do think lots of people like or appreciate it. And I always apologixe either beforehand or afterwards. Cause sometime you just have to spread the love/music, & I fucking love music!

Onto Pinterest::
1- Long posts.
Like this.They're just annoying. I try to not repin many of them unless I really wanna keep up with it, or really like what it is. Like that particular one, I love it.
2- Not changing the description.
Very minor. No biggie. But sometimes you should really just pay attention to what it says, lol. Tailor it to you. Like, don't Pin a recipe and leave it as "I made this for supper last night, it was delicious", when you didn't... (okay so that was a dumb example, but I'm sure you know what I mean.)
3- Repinning the same thing, multiple times.
I actually go through my boards from time to time to make sure I have not done this. & If I'm unsure, I'll "like" it first & then check. It's annoying to me to see someone post something & then a week later there it is again. Pay attention to what you're doing, people!  
4- Pins that lead to nowhere.
It's just annoying. I just wanna see how to make the kind of blanket, dammit! 

1- Fangirls
I'm a fangirl at times, I admit. But some of the things some people say...whew.

1- Existing.

All of it...
Connecting alll of your social media to each other...if I'm on facebook, I don't want to see your Twitter/Pinterest/Tumblr or InstaG. If I want to see ALL of your tweets, instapics or pins, I'd look you up and follow you on there. Stop forcing it on me! 
I am guilty of this with Instagram and Twitter. I will tweet most of my InstaG posts, but Instagram gives you the option to do that every time, it doesn't just automatically do it....most social media you have to connect through setting therefore most of the time it automatically does it. I will type out the same post of FB & Twitter before I'll connect my Twitter to my FB. Just, no.

But, alas, 
To each their own, right?
I just felt like complaining.
Am I alone in any of this? Am I crazy? What bothers you? 


Monday, February 25, 2013


There isn't a link up this Monday, but I don't really have too much else to say today...I'm kinda bleh...SO, here's my Instagramazing weekend anyway.

Friday & Saturday consisted of cleaning & painting. Good food & Sugar cuddles.

Great, huh?! lol Unfortunately, my title is There is not too much to be said about this weekend.
Cleaned in my bedroom Friday, we started our painting again on Saturday & Watched the Daytona 500 on Sunday.
Simple & nice. :)

Today is def. a Monday. Nothing like waking up on "bill day" & with only and hour to get to places before the close. I made it to where I needed to for one of our bills & put the rest (non bills) off until tomorrow. Thinking about popping some Zzzquil tonight. Sleep just didn't happen last night. I was either hot, chilly, my back hurt, I couldn't get comfy, or my stomach was hurting & then I got a headache because I couldn't go to sleep.
It was just fab!
It didn't get me down today though. Just rushed & a little anxious at first.

But, tomorrow WILL be better. :)

Well,...that's about it.
My cornbread is done & veggie soup is waiting on me!
Gonna eat & get ready for Teen Mom 2 & the Catfish Reunion! 

What did you do this weekend?! Anything more exciting?


Follow me on InstaG: BNBA

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Left Turn!

Hello blogland.
I have nothing to talk about today.
So, I just figured I'd check in to see how everyone's weekend is going.

Mine's alright.
Nothing going on.
Boring & I'm trying to not be too lazy.

I'm still bummed that I didn't make it to see my guys in TN last night.
We ended up whole wall!
2 more to do in the living room area & then we have lots of cleaning to do so the drop ceiling can be put in. It all sounds simple...if we'll just actually do it.
I had kind of forgotten how much of a workout painting can be, & it actually made me want to work out
I just wanna get in some kind of shape.
Today has consisted of laundry and watching the Daytona 500.
Yep, y'all, I'm a NASCAR Fan.
Dale Jr. is my guy & he came in 2nd today.
Not what I wanted to see, but I will take it!
Any of you ladies NASCAR fans?! If so who is your driver? & Did you see that crazy ass wreck yesterday?!

So, yea...that's my super exciting, over the top, weekend.
Now what am I gonna do?
Another load of laundry and try to not devour a bag of chips...
I'm so hungry, and bored.
Maybe I just need to go to Pinterest!
I also think I might skip watching the Oscars...

How has your weekend been?


Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Newlywed Game!

Linking up with Karla & Veronica.

1.  Who does the laundry in your home, you or your spouse? Any good stories?
B- Me. Because if I didn't his clothes would probably constantly smell like oil/grease/transmission fluid & other various smells...along with the washing detergent. lol
D- She does because she doesn't like that way I do it.
2.  If your spouse had to eat at one restaurant for the rest of their lives, what would he or she pick?
B- Um,...I honestly don't know...
D- Taco Bell

3.  Are you or your spouse better at cooking? Any good stories?
B- I say me, but mainly because I cook more often. And he always tells me it's so good. lol He can cook alright, too. ;)
D- Me.

4.  Which one of you is more concerned about their "fashion"?
B- Uh, between the two of us, probably me. But even still, I'm more for comfort; cute is great, comfort is key! 
D- She is.

5.  Ideally, if you don't have them already, when does you spouse want to have children?
B- I would say whenever it decides to happen.
D- Anytime.

6.  Who planned dates when you were dating? And what was one of your favorites?
B- I don't really think we went on many "dates". I don't know..
D- Me.
7.  What's been the toughest part of being a newlywed?
B- I really don't know. I guess just adjusting to the idea that we were now married.
D- Getting used to each other.
(Uhh, cause the 8 years beforehand weren't enough...what?! lol)

8.  Who is the best with the finances?
B- Me. For sho!
D- She is.

9.  Who is the strict one?
B- Probably me.
D- She is.
10.  What will you plan to do for your first anniversary? Or if you've already celebrated your first anniversary, what did you do?
B- Chili's! My favorite! Couldn't afford a trip, so we just had a dinner
D- Out to eat. 
BONUS QUESTION: Assuming you were expecting something a little special for Valentine's Day (as in yall planned on doing something, giving something, etc), how did your spouse do? Share it! Again, PG people, please.
B- I wan't expecting anyhting. He wrote me a little letter though.
I forgot to get him to answer the bonus FAIL!


Thursday, February 21, 2013

Ramble Box..

Well, my nephew is at the house again today. My mom took him to the dr & he has a virus that's pretty much a cold... O.o Anyway, it's contagious & Sissy don't want it, so I am holed up in my bedroom until we get the house sprayed down with Lysol! 
I decided that I would just ramble today about somethings that are on my mind. 

I was checking the calendar the other day while looking at dates for my Bestie Weekend in Savannah & noticed that Daylight Savings starts March 10th at 2 AM. Yay! Something that doesn't make much sense about me is that I am a TOTAL Night Owl, BUT I cannot stand it getting dark at like 6-7pm. I love when it's close to 9pm and still daylight/just getting dark. 

With daylight savings comes Spring! L-O-V-E Spring (and Fall). They are my favorite months! Not too hot, not too cold. The only thing I don't like about spring is the weather, there are many days where there is "good tornado weather" & homegirl here is not a fan of Tornadoes, or any bad storms. But other than that, bring it on! So ready to ditch the winter blues!

Speaking up "Winter blues" any of you who read my post on Tuesday. I was shitty wasted & probably shouldn't have sat down in front of a computer. I do battle with depression, I have sense my preteen years, that's something I don't think I have fully addressed on here; but now that I decided to let my looney show, I may address it just a little some other time. It really is a battle & I really shouldn't drink when I'm upset. (I vaguely remember sobbing at the kitchen table. & My mom trying to talk to me.)

I've been thinking of what I really want to do with my life & honestly don't have a direction. That sounds SO bad. But, I honestly don't know what I want to do. There are several things that I'd like to do, but living in small town and not being willing to relocate does not leave me many "big dream" option. So, meh.

Speaking of big dreams, I've started thinking about traveling again. & My camera. I sought out some advice on which camera to get, & it didn't help a lot. Mainly because I had my heart so set on one & pretty much being told that "that one is good, but go with this one". So I just don't know. I still have more research to do on them. Traveling..I'm seriously considering starting an envelope, you know-my method of saving, for a London/UK/Ireland. But there are some issues with that. 1. I'm scared to fly, period. But the thought of flying for almost 12 hours, over the Atlantic freaks. me. out. & 2. I reallly want to go, but I'm afraid if we do, we'll just get there and be like "now, what?" We're both kind of introverted & I don't want to save the money, take the time & make the trip only to do next to nothing. I know I need to do lots of research to find things to do & such, but you get what I'm saying?

On a smaller traveling note, I can't wait to see my bestest in a couple of months. You will see me talk and talk and talk about this foreverrrr. Living 7 hours away sucks & when we get to see each other these days (usually only once..maybe twice a year) it's only for a weekend. So this time, we are losing the husband & she is leaving my godbabies & we are having just a girls weekend & I cannot wait. It has been just us in YEARS. We've got the dates, & almost got the hotel picked out. Once we book I'll be ecstatic! And I just have to hope nothing comes up that causes either one of us to cancel! Dear life, don't be a bitch to us, we need this! KTHANKS We decided that we are gonna go with no plans made & just figure out the things we want to do once we get there. :)

Operation I Work Out has still not started, but it's still being talked about. It hasn't quite started cause we have still been procrastinating in the basement/ out "apartment." And in order to dust off the treadmill, there is lots of work to be done. It's all connected in someway. lol excuses, excuses Whatevahh, it's true!

Now I'm gonna do another A-Z. I've done one before, some of the questions were different. This time, Jordan at Musings of a Twenty Something is trying to get to know her followers, so instead of doing this in her comments I figured I'd do it here.

A — available or married?

B — book?
Currently slowly reading The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly. It's alright so far. I'm excited to finish cause I think my next one will be The Happiness Project, or Perks of being a Wallflower! I'll also take suggestions. :) 

C — cake or pie?

My grannies Red Velvet cake or peanut butter pie. 

D — drink of choice?

Non-alcoholic: Mt. Dew, Sweet Tea, juice, kool aid or water.  

E — essential item? or camera

F — favorite color?

all time favorite it Blue! But I love, love, love black too. I actually love most colors...

G — game to watch or play?

Football, baby. Go Dawgs & Falcons...(and Broncos, Lions, & Bengals...)

H — hometown? 
Good ole Small Town, USA ;) My gorgeous little town is Dahlonega.

I — indulgence?
getting more cloths than I need. Eating out. Date nights. Vacations. Getting my hair done (which hasn't happened in a freakin year & 3 months. :(

J — job?
Stay at home wifey/housewife/bill payer/financial upkeeper...etc.
K — kids and their names?

None of those, yet.

L — life is incomplete without?

Music-duh, family/friends, & laughter. I love to laugh.

M — music group or singer?

I have tons of favorites, so instead of saying who are and aren't favorites, I'll just tell you a couple of my go-to's right now... Ed Sheeran, Framing Hanley-always, Linkin Park-always, One Direction, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Jessie J....etc.

N — number of siblings?
1, big bro.
O — oranges or apples?

Both, please! (Granny Smith Apples!)

P — phobias/fears?

Death, whether it be my loved ones or me. Which in turn causes fears of pretty much everything! lol

Q — favorite quote?
I don't know...there are so many, I can't pick one at the moment.
R — reason to smile?
Love! Loving and being loved, it just feels so good. And  Music & memories.
S — season?

Spring & Fall. Perfection!

T — tattoos?

4. Don't know if I've told you all that before... lol But yea, I've got 4 tat, all in need of touch ups.

U — unknown fact about me?
Umm,...I'll have to get back to you on that...I'm blank.
V — vegetable you love?

Broccoli, carrots (both uncooked), cucumbers,...I'm seriously going blank trying to remember veggies, okra (fried), lettuce, onions (love them, used to eat them like apples), black eyed peas, beans (pinto are my favorite!), pootatoooes!, corn, collard greens, green beans, peas....

W — worst habit?

I don't know...I know I have some bad ones though.

X — X-rays you've had?

Ankle/leg, teeth..I think that's it.

Y — your favorite food?

Pepperoni Pizza, spaghetti, potatoes (mashed, fried, baked, boiled, whatever) french fries/chili cheese fries. & I do love fruits and veggies I just have not been as good about eating them lately.

Z — zodiac?
Cancer. And it fits me to a T!
So, there ya go! You guys can do it too, if you'd like. Let me know if you do, I'd love to see your answers too! :)

Happy Thursday!


Wednesday, February 20, 2013


So, the first season of Catfish is over.
Oh, this show...if you haven't watched it, It's a Reality TV show on MTV. What it is, is people who are in online relationships and for one reason or another have not yet met (or seen) the other person- aside from pictures of course. So Nev, a man who has been in a similar situation only for his situation to not turn out as he expected, decided that he wanted to help people in these situations. So basically, he get's emails & he picks one & contacts that person, they tell him their story & he then meets them & contacts the other person in an attempt to set it up to where they can finally meet. Lots of the situations didn't play out as expected.
For example: one girl was meeting the guy that she had been dating online for 8 months- that guy turned out to be a girl. One guy was dating a "model" & she turned out to actually just be his close friend.
Watching every Monday night always, ALWAYS take me back about 11 or 12 years ago when I used to chat. I was totally one of those people who spent more of my downtime than I should have in chat rooms.
I used to chat on Excite/VP.
I had a small group of friends.
And yes, a couple of "relationships".
I can actually still tell you some of their names.
& I actually still have some of their pictures somewhere...
& I still have their numbers (which I'm sure are old now). I actually just re-found them when I was going through some old stuff on Monday.

This show though, along with dredging up memories, made me often was I "catfished"?
And it makes me giggle a little, because I kind of "catfished" everyone I talked, too.
I chatted when I was in the age range of 11-13 or 14. I told everyone I spoke to that I was 15 or 16 I think. Just a few years older that I actually was.
I also went by my middle name and not my first. I never told anyone where I lived, other than the state. I never gave out my number and whenever I talked to someone on the phone I always called them and I always used a calling card. Ohhh the beauty of calling cards.
Some of my friends...Jas (Jasmine), Josh, Stephen, Luis, Luis aka Khrome., Shane, Sarah, Ryan, Trey, Jason, Aaron, Scott, etc...
"Significant" others...Shawn, T, Darren, and Spikey, and one I'll call "SOS".

The ones I actually talked to on the phone were Stephen, Shane, Khrome, and a couple of others. Shane lived closest to me, about 20-30 minutes away, in the same state. We talked about meeting, but never did.
(I never met anyone, don't worry. lol)
Ryan was more like a big brother figure he lived in TN, he's the only one who ever sent me mail & I only gave him a P.O. Box address. He sent me a letter and one of his senior pictures, I thought I still had it, but can't remember where it is... Jason and Trey were more like my homies, Stephen was nuts, so damn crazy & so funny.

So, those "boyfriends"..
Darren, okay so he was more of a friend that I started to care about. He was going through some issues and not really wanting to be here, if you catch my drift. I talked to him a lot to help keep his spirits up and such, and he actually did the same for me. He was a really sweet guy.
Spikey..that was his screen name obviously, I do know his real name, his full real name. I can actually still look it up and see pictures. Our talking was more..flirty I suppose...
T..I'm not typing out his name, because you can actually look it up too, and it's the same guy. This relationship was special to me. Cared about him a lot.
Shawn...I loved this guy. Like...loved him, yes I was only like 12 at the time, but I don't know. I laughed with him, cried with him, looked forward to talking to him every day. He was also going through issues and didn't want to really be around either. We helped each other with those issues. But I cannot remember for the life of me if I saw his pictures. Im about 85% sure I did see a couple, but they weren't the greatest of quality. I also never spoke to him on the phone.

Then there is SOS. I'm not going to say "his" name. It was a legitimate name, and pictures...but due to who it was, it would have been SUPER easy to fake. Even back then I didn't 100% buy it. "He" was someone around my age, cute, super sweet, funny, etc etc. Now here's the kicker, he was famous, supposedly part of a boyband. Now this person he claimed to be is a very real person, and the band is real (they were a popular group at the time), I'm just not sure the person I was talking to was actually him. Back then part of me was like "no way, ohmahgod, I'm talking (not just talking, but talking) to someone who's famous, who actually likes me. OhMahGah." The other part was like "get real! There is no way homeboy is who he says he is." But, the conversation was good. And I did like "him".
The funny thing about him though is I didn't even originally "meet" him, I was friends with his "brother" & his bro's gf & they introduce us. I say brother in quotations because if you look up a bio of this guy, he didn't have an older brother by that name. Umm, duh. LIAHH LIAHH, SOS!
Of course i got  pictures, but nothing I couldn't find over the internet, ya know. And I never spoke to him on the phone. If I would have thought, the thing to do would have been the whole "take a picture hold a sign" Or, even though video chatting wasn't quite a thing just yet...or maybe that's around the time that it was starting...anyway a webcam chat would have been key. lol.
But still. Aside from the constant wonder of "am I really talking to this dude", I enjoyed talking to him. A lot.
And even nowadays when or if I ever see a picture or hear a song "he" sang, or was part of, I smile.

Everyone watches Catfish and then hates SO HARD on the people involved.
"Why in the world would you not ask for solid proof?" "How in the world can you be fooled for that long?" "I can't believe that you actually believe that you are talking to this person."
I just want to say that I get it, I understand part of that whole scenario.
I actually get both sides, the haters and the "victims".
Even if it's just online, it's very, very possible to meet and love someone even if you don't have that 100% certainty of who you are talking to.
Call me crazy, and I was, and am, but until you're actually in that position, you really don't understand. Cause even me now watches and wonders how in the hell some of these people don't check more into who they are talking to...but then I remember, well I've been there before. Only it was a good 12 years ago and technology wasn't quite what it is today, so it wasn't easy for me to research that well...and lets be honest, I wouldn't even have known where to start.
A lot of the time you just have those guts feelings and you know, gut feelings tend to be right to some even though I didn't fully buy SOSes story of who he was, there was still something that kept me talking to him everyday. You go with your gut. My gut never gave me the feeling that any of the people I talked to were weird, or creeps or anything like that. They never scared me. And talk was never super personal. Was everything some of them said true? Maybe not, but I could relate to them in some degree about things. That's what kept me talking to them. The friendship. And sometimes, in some cases friendship develop into more feelings.
It sounds crazy. and sad, but I have some good memories of chatting and talking to these people on the phone and all. They were part of my life. If they were a "boyfriend" figure/someone I liked, I would talk to my best friend about them as if they weren't someone I talked to online. Friends? A couple of my real life friends talked to them also, if they were at my house while I was talking to them. 
I do remember years after I stopped chatting, I did look some people up (once other social media sites started popping up) to see how legit some people were. And I was able to find the ones that I looked up.
So unless someone was flat out catfishing (like stealing their pictures and pretending to be them), although you have to remember that there weren't several sites around where people posted pictures of themselves that could be freely and as easily stolen back then, so I personally feel like it would have been harder to that then. So, I pretty much believe that I was talking to those people. (Of course I never did message and ask them, lol)...
But there are some people out there that are just not nice. There are people that will do it to target a specific person, and there are people who do it to target anyone they can get to fall into their trap. I've made a fake MySpace account before, in the spirit of meaness, and messed with someone. Not for long, & I can't fully remember the reason, but it happened. And at the time, it was funny. But of course, I know it's wrong. Bad me. But I wasn't alone in the act. At any rate, I can't even remember much of it. It was just freakin' dumb.
If I were like that now, a "chatter", I wouldn't believe so easy. Not without some sort of proof, ya know?
So, I sit back and say what everyone else says "do you not see that there's something fishy here?!" No pun intended. And then when they get ready to meet, I get nervous for them. I could not imagine ever meeting anyone I talked to online back then & finding out that it wasn't them. Talk about devastation.
I think if I would have ever had anyone investigated to see if they really were who they claimed to be, I'd pick SOS, obvi. Even though I pretty much know he wasn't who he claimed to be. I just don't really buy it. I wouldn't want to meet him, unless he was who he said he was. I would just want some investigating to be done. I would just want to know. I wish I could find a conversation between us. (I used to save conversations, don't judge me). I can't even remember his screen name right off the top of my head. :-/ There are lots of screen names that aren't coming to mind, dang it, but I digress.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be in their places, I wouldn't want to be faced with meeting the person that I was friends with, cared about, liked, loved for however long- only to find out it was all a sham. I get disappointed when I see it go bad for them. But only because I would never want that to happen to me.
I would have obviously never met any of the people I talked to, I was too young for that mess. I just enjoyed having other friends aside from the ones I had in real life.
Much like now.
I guess being a chatter at such a young age kind of allowed me to embrace social media a little more. Of course the obvious MySpace & Facebook, but you know everyone on there pretty much. I swore off Twitter like it was the plague, mainly because of all the hype. BUT, I caved in and I'm glad I did.
I have made so many friends, all over. Several places in the US & a couple of people in UK. I have met I think 4 or 5 people, exchanged numbers which a couple. It's just nice to know that you can connect with people outside your "circle".
It's still kind of scary,  & every now and then I still have that thought of "who am I really talking to." But for the most part & with all of the connected media (Instagram connected to you twitter or facebook, being friends with the same person via 288924 different social media platforms, etc.) I believer everyone I talk to is who they say they are. Because, even though it's so easy to fake being someone. It's also hard. Watching some of those people on Catfish, it takes downright dedication to fake being someone. Hours upon hours, years and years. It's crazy. I couldn't imagine.
All in all, I do like that show. & I wouldn't change a thing about my chat room days, & I wouldn't change anything about my current online friendships & mingling! :)
So. Thank you Excite/VP/AIM/Yahoo! Messenger/MSN Messenger for many memories.
Thank you Twitter/Tumblr/Blogger for allowing me to make new friends and have more memories.
Social media can be a great thing, if used properly.
And now I'm pretty much rambling because I honestly have no particular direction for this post. No major point to make. Just reflecting on how things happen.
The past and the present & how there are a lot of similarities, but lotsss of differences.

If you made it to the end, bless your heart. I didn't expect this post to be this long, I actually feel kind of bad.

Has anyone ever been a "chatter"? What are your past &/or current online/chat room/social media experiences?! Good, bad, ugly, scary, funny, happy?! Share. :)


Aaaand the truth is revealed!

The answers to my "Truth be told, I'm lion" post are:

1. I've been to jail before, I was only held in a small holding room until my mom picked me up. I was 13. True
2. I pulled a totally cliche teenager act and ran away from home once. Lie
3. I drunkenly took off my pants & panties and had to run to another stall for toilet a McDonalds bathroom. True

Yep, yours truly scored her first cop car ride/"time" in jail when I was just a wee 13 years old. For underage drinking. I wasn't cuffed & I was one of 6 girls taken in. They separated us, 3 went to the visitors room & 3 went into a small box of a room (it sucked). I was the only one not crying & I was the only one who registered NOTHING on the breathalyzer! BOOM! Why? Cause I think I might have had literally a sip, I hadn't been there long enough to really drink. My mom had just dropped me off at a friends house & about 45 or so minutes later she picked me up from the police station. No charges & nothing on my record, just a memory.

The McDonald's bathroom story...lordymercy! Okay, Summer of '09, I was 21 & myself and 4 other ladies were Atlanta bound to see Def Leppard, Poison & Cheap Trick. The distance between where we live & Atlanta is...2ish hours give or take depending on the traffic. We loaded up in the car, and equipped ourselves with a mini Bubba Keg of a mixed drink & set off. We stopped about 30ish minutes away from home to get some grub...and I was already pretty much on the verge of drunk. We stopped at Mickey D's & went through the drive thru. I had to pee, so I told them to let me out & I'd meet them on the other side. So I go in, there are I think 3 bathroom stalls, and I pick the one with no TP, only as my luck would have it, I didn't notice this until after I peed. I sat there for a second trying to figure out what the heck to do, and then I just decided to go for it. I was the only one in the bathroom, I could do I did. And thank God no one came in. Talk about awkward. lol I finished up, washed my hands and made it back outside just in time, they had just paid & got the food! I still cannot drive by that McDonald's without thinking about that. 

I've never ran away from home. As many times as I've wanted to, and still do sometimes, I never have. I do nowadays, but we call those vacations, lol. ;)

So, there you have it. If you didn't already think I was nutzo I'm sure you probably do now. lol It's okay, though. I'm happy to be a fruit loop in a world of cheerios!


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Truth be told, I'm lion.

Doing this fun little, one time link up. Alexa & Jena are co-hosts & I just love them! You can link up with them or you can visit Sarah or Lauren to link up as well! Do it, to it!

Basically, I'm gonna tell you 3 things about me...
2 are true, 1 isn't.


1. I've been to jail before, I was only held in a small holding room until my mom picked me up. I was 13.
2. I pulled a totally cliche teenager act and ran away from home once.
3. I drunkenly took off my pants & panties and had to run to another stall for toilet a McDonalds bathroom.

You're supposed to go ahead and tell which is which, but I'm gonna let you all guess, I'll tell you if you're right or wrong...and I'll tell the answers, and maybe a brief back story to them, tomorrow in a post. ;)

So what do you think? Which one is a lie?

♥♥♥ the spirit of honesty...

let me be honest.

I have been battling depression for about,..ohh I would say 12ish years.
Not very many people know.
Not something I've ever freely shared... Until now, I suppose.
Anyone ever been depressed? So, you know how that feels? To be at your lowest of lows...
One of the reasons I don't drink much is because I feel like it would be so easy for me to become an alcoholic.
Why? Because who wants to be able to feel what hurts them?! Not me.
I'm numb, right now.
Just, numb.
And I am so, so "happy" because of that.
And you know what?! I feel like every so often I just need to be "numb."
I carry so much stress on myself, for absolutely no reason....& I know it's for now reason, yet I still carry it...
The stress of being a failure.
The stress of my body not quite functioning right.
The stress of thinking that I might be impeding on my parents.
Any and every stress...I probably carry it.
I'm 24, will be 25 in 5 months. I shouldn't be at home. As semi-responsible as it sounds, in the sense that my husband and I are not jumping face first into debt, I still don't like the fact that we do not have our own place.
Not because I don't want to be around my family, I'm actually a huge baby, if I knew I could handle it, I might never leave home. I absolutely love my family, and his. However, we just need our own place.
I really can't even put into words how much it's needed.
What makes this worse?
The fact that I check houses that are for sale every so often and then I pout because I'll find something that might suite us for now, but I know we can't swing it.
Not possible
I'll never make it anywhere with this frame of mind, but sometimes it's so hard to fight off.
I never, ever want to make my parents or my brother, or husband feel bad. In any way, shape or form.
There is so much that bothers me.
It really is all on me. I hide it from everyone.
It's not quite as severe as it used to be, though, so I guess that's a good thing?
I don't know.
It still gets bad.

I have absolutely no direction for this post right now.
I honestly want to puke and go to sleep.
But I also want another drink...

mabye I just need some music.

anyone ever watched the show Catfish?!
I have a post about something similar coming this week....

Luff yew.
this girl!

Monday, February 18, 2013

My Instagramazing & Relaxing Weekend.

You know what you should do on this lovely Monday?!
Link up with my girls, Karla and Nicole, for Instagramazing!

We spent the weekend house & tween-sitting [lol] for my mother in law.
My brother in law is 12 so I'm not gonna call it babysitting! :p

Friday-still at home-:
I made a something new that I had been wanting to try, it's a Pinterest find & you can find the recipe HERE.
Those 5 punk ass kids from Nashville (aka Framing Hanley) I've been trying to find and exact size frame so I was asking for suggestions on where to look. 
The bottom 2 are my Bella, I was messing with her while she was trying to sleep. lol

Annie Girl, my ma-in-law's Paint.
Hubby, bro-in-law & me stayed up until 3am playing games. First Name 5, then Monopoly & 2-3 rounds of Yahtzee -we had to teach my brother-in-law how to play- Notice how his card says Ginger, he's proud of his gingerness. lol.

Sunday I didn't hit up InstaG with pics, but I did take some, so I'll show you some non-InstaG pics too!

 The funny faces you can catch from a dog yawning! lol He's cuuuute!

 Just hanging out..

And Lazy Sunday.

And that about covers it! 
Now I have to pack up and head back to our basement/apt at home. 

How was your weekend?! 
Link up & show everyone! 


Saturday, February 16, 2013

Penne Pasta with Sun-dried Tomato Cream Sauce

This is a Pinterest find that I finally made & it was pretty good.
I think next time I make I'm going to add chicken to it. 
Best of all, it's quick & easy

2 Cups dry penne pasta
8 sun-dried tomatoes, chopped. Need about 1/3 cup.
1 can (12 fl.oz.) Nestle Carnation Evaporated Lowfat 2% Milk
2 Cups (8oz pkg) Italian-style four-cheese blend.
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon black ground pepper

Prepare pasta according to package directions, adding sun-dried tomatoes to boiling water for last two minutes of cooking time. Drain.
Meanwhile- Combine evaporated milk, cheese, basil, garlic powder, & pepper in medium saucepan. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, until cheese is melted. Remove from heat.
Add pasta & sun-dried tomatoes to cheese sauce, stir until combined.

And Voila! Enjoy!

I even made this for you to print out if you'd like!

I copied it verbatim, but if you'd like to see it, here is the original recipe.


Friday, February 15, 2013

Short posts about my long posts...

Just wanna say Thank You to anyone and everyone who takes the time to read my posts.
I know they can get lengthy, I like to babble.
So, really, thanks! It does mean a lot!

I'm hoping that today won't entail a vet trip.
My Trixie has been acting funny for a few days.
I hate to see how much I'll be charged to have her checked out.
But I hate seeing her not feeling good or hurting.
My little burrito all snug and resting after a bath.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Love Day, Love Muffins!

I told myself I wasn't going to do a Vday post.
But, it's whatever!

I do like Valentine's Day.
But I also do think it's overrated.
But yet we still kind of celebrate it.
Yea, we don't make sense. Haha.
So, I guess I'm a Valentine's Day Lover & Hater...

Doug is getting a card, a box of reeses minis, two bags of beef jerky and I'm cooking him shrimp for my pjs with no make up on, and hair thrown up in a bun...sound like a song? ;)
Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on...
I almost got him a Harry Styles
Any excuse to have something with my british hubs face on it!
I would say if anything I use this day as an excuse to buy him stuff. Not an obligation. He'd actually probably rather not celebrate it, which is fine with me also. But I just like to buy him stuff. I buy him stuff "just because" all the time. Just because" stuff is better anyways, doesn't feel like an obligation, more of a genuine "aw, you thought of me" moment. We don't do dinner out on Vday. Way too stressful and neither of us like crowds. If we ever do date night, it's always before or after.

When it comes down to it, who the heck needs a holiday to celebrate their love?!
Not us! I love this man 365 days a year.
Except the days he's driving me batshit crazy, or the days when he's got a stick up his ass or underwear in a wad.
Kidding. I still love him then too. And I am assuming he feels the same way. ;)
This is our 9th Valentine's Day together.

However, there's nothing wrong with a day dedicated to celebrating love at all. But celebrate it towards everyone! Hallmark holiday or not. I believe that it can be a holiday for everyone, not just couples, but parent and kids, friends, etc. So, tell someone that you love Happy Love Day today!  
Just don't let it be the only day you tell them.

So, because I'm obsessed with music, I thought I'd share some songs that I love:

Lovey Lovers Love Playlist 
Ed Sheeran- Kiss Me & Give Me Love
Billy Currington- Must Be Doing Something Right
Babyface- Everything I Close My Eyes
Boys Like Girls- Two Is Better Than One (ft. T.Swift) -I walked down the isle to this song-
Aerosmith- I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing -our song-
The Beatles- All My Loving
The Beatles- Baby It's You
Taylor Swift- Our Song
K-Ci & JoJo- All My Life 
All 4 One- I Can Love You Like That
Ginuwine- Differences
The Goo Goo Dolls- Iris
Grandfunk Railroad- Some Kind Of Wonderful
Jason Mraz- Lucky (ft. Colbie Calliat)
Lil Mo- Forever (ft. fabolous)
Salt N Pepa- Whatta Man
Wayne Wonder- No Letting Go
Edwin McCain- I'll Be

Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow Playlist
112- Peaches & Cream 
112- Anywhere
Avant- Making Good Love
Usher- Nice & Slow
Usher- There Goes My Baby
Boyz II Men- I'll Make Love To You 
Color Me Badd- I Wanna Sex You Up 
Ginuwine- So Anxious
Ginuwine- Pony 
Ginuwine- In Those Jeans
Keith Sweat- Twisted
504 Boyz- I Can Tell You Wanna (ft. Mercedes) 
Pretty Ricky- Grind On Me
Silk- Freak Me
Silk- Meeting In My Bedroom
R Kelly- Bump & Grind 
Marvin Gaye- Let's Get It On

Not-So-Lovey-Dovey Playlist
Bon Jovi- You Give Love a Bad Name
Chris Brown- Dueces
Ashton Shepherd- Takin' Off This Pain
Blu Cantrell- Hit 'Em Style (Oops)
Alanis Morissette- You Oughta Know
Jason Derulo- Ridin' Solo
TLC-No Scrub
Nazareth- Love Hurts
Poison- Every Rose Has It's Thorn
Little Texas- What Might Have Been
Warrant- I Saw Red
Profyle- Liar
Toni Braxton- Unbreak My Heart
Puddle Of Mudd- She Hates Me
The Wreckers- Leave The Pieces
Taylor Swift-...just pick

Music for everything! ;) I could probably go on for days! Got any songs to add to any of the lists?!

Happy Love Day to all of my readers, today & every day!
Love you all & so glad that you all follow along/ hang out in my little corner a little!


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Being jobless sucks....

It has it's pros and cons.
Biggest Pro: Not having to wake up.
Biggest Con: My husband and I live in my parents basement.

I wish I could figure out where I might belong in the working world.

I thought for sure the medical field.
I even took a class and became a CCA.
And tried finding any entry-level type job in the medical field, to no avail.
Hell, I'm still looking/trying.
Only now, after over a good year of trying and constantly being turned down, I don't even really think I want to be in the medical field now.
And I don't have any kind of exceptional skills to offer.

I've never worked. 
But I'm still not 100% sure where I would belong.
What I would be good at.
I still am not sure what career I might be interested in going into.
I just don't know.
And it bums me out.
I sit and spend my time looking at all of these job sites for places that are hiring, and I just don't see any that I'd really want to do. Even for my first job. I want to at least get something that I can enjoy while gaining experience, ya know?

I don't know...
It just really sucks.