Monday, June 16, 2014

Why did I ever stop?

As I've mentioned before...Doug & I live at home, in my parents basement. It's basically a 2 br/1ba apt...that's unfinished. But that's not really important. That 2nd bedroom is SUPPOSED to be a spare bedroom for any company and my scrapbook/craft room.
But, you see, I'm a bit of a pack rat. Want to know what is actually in that room?
My childhood...and my teenage years. And even some adult/current things.
I have trouble with parting with stuff. Some things are understandable (to me) to keep. Other things may be a little silly.
Like, I have one tote with nothing but school in school work. I think it's mainly HS with some Middle school. I have another tote full of school books/binder etc from Elem. also in that tote is all of my WWF (WWE) magazines. I have a John Deere touch lamp that I got for Christmas about 9 or so years ago's still in the box that my mom put it in to wrap it. I never got it out... Oh and key chains... and my stuffed animals! Letters, letters and letters! I mean, you're catching my drift right? If I listed everything you'd think I was either still wanting to be 10-15 years old, or that I was crazy...or both.
Sometimes a mood strikes where I'm just kind of like "throw this shit away" those are the days I go throw that room so that I know I'm a little more likely to throw away the necklace made out of masking tape...I was rummaging through my spare room the other day and trying to condense and get rid of a few things.
I was putting all of my binders from school in one collective totes to make a little more room, but of course you can't do that without looking through them, right? No! So of course I stood there and look through them and let nostalgia slap me in the damn face.
From the letters, and the back & forths, to the poems, to the lyrics. And of course whatever pictures donned the front covers. I laughed at all of the different guys names in the "I love ____" that all girls inevitably write/doodle/draw everywhere.
And then of course there was my non-school binder, I don't even know what you'd call it, just a notebook I suppose. It's just one of those that had no purpose. But inside were a few doodles, the "i hate myself" or "I hate everything" sentiments. Fuck this & fuck that hooblah, you know. Teen (pre-teen) angst and whatnot. But I love looking back at my doodles. I even had a pen stash. I mean, I, have a problem, I'll show the one from then & my current one... you've heard those people who say that they love buying pens/markers etc.? Yea, I'm one of those to the extreme.
I used to doodle and draw all the time. Nothing really major, in my opinion, musicians logos/symbols/names, pot leaves, and then of course bubble letters. I used to draw up things for people to put in the front of their binders with their names. I wasn't THAT fantastic but, I was pretty good. Especially to be 11/12/13/14. But I feel like it faded away. I mean, I've never FULLY stopped doodling. But I mean I used to doodle allll the time! I miss that. I miss that small window of creative outlet.  I wish I could find some of my better things but, alas, this is all I could find right now.
Oh and then the poems/quotes/lyrics and such. I have a notebook full of lyrics of some favorite songs..I quit typing those forever ago. Idk why.
I used to also write lyrics, quotes, and poems that I found and loved. Whether they were fun, or meaningful. In those notebooks and binders I'm talking about up there, I would write them in there, or just on loose paper. On my binders, in my agenda books, I'd write 'em wherever.
But, I would also write my own. Poems that is. My friend Briana wrote me a poem. It was 9th grade and I liked Doug at the time, she wrote this poem about that, in exchange, I wrote her one about the guy she liked at the time. I still have that poem she wrote me and I'll keep it forever. I think I still have a copy of the one I wrote her too.
I have the beginnings of several other poems. I found one I had started about abortion (why I was writing about abortion at 13 or 14, I have no clue.) And then I found another one that's also not finished. But I read it & it struck me. And immediately I was like "Did I really write this?!" I loved what I read. I'm probably going to google a few of the lines to makes sure it's not one that I had found years ago and liked it so much that I wrote it down. But, I really feel like it's mine. I had one of those feelings when I read it. Like a connection. It just put an automatic smile on my face. It also made me sad. I mean, if it is mine, and I thought it was that good -at least for a teenager- then why in the world did I ever stop writing?! I've been wanting to try my hand at songwriting for a while, I've even mentioned it on the blog, it's even on my 30 before 30 list. So, I'm just wondering why I suppressed it? If I used to write and did fairly okay, then why the hell didn't I keep doing it so I could mature it? I don't know. But lately I've been jotting down most of my ideas. I've even resorted to using my phone when needed.

And shit, scrapbooking. Scrap booking started for me in middle school I think. Lil photographer me. Or paparazzo. ;-) Of course the older I got, the more "serious" I got. And now I have like 2 or 3 unfinished scrap books, and a few that haven't even been started. But supplies? I have HEAPS. I have a full tote, a box full, my cricut and a bag of cartridges and then of course back to my pen/marker stash. The main reason I stopped that is lack of room, that much I can say. I need a central station for that. Lugging all of that around from room to room just to do maybe one page in however many hours you decide to spend on it is a bit much. But, I miss's something that I want back in my life, even though it never really left.

Basically, creative ole me has been held back for too long. For absolutely no reason. I really want to start letting this shit out again!

And in the spirit of this post.

 My latest doodles I busted out while planning a Disney scavenger hunt.

Is there anything that you used to love doing that you stopped or don't do much of anymore??
If so, what?

& I say, start it back! :-)


Monday, June 9, 2014

An actual update on my life...

So, let's not talk about the fact that I royally SUCK at blogging this year.
I don't know what the deal is. I want to blog but, the lazy wins.
But, really though!

there's a bit of good news in my life!

I got a job!

Thanks to my girl, Carla. I'm the receptionist for a lawyer in town.
The pay is kind of low for now and I'm working just a little more than part time for now but, no complaints from me.
I'm only a little over a week in so, I'm still real fresh at it. I am still kind of nervous and I still have a lot to learn.
But, so far it's going pretty good.
I just hope it keeps going good and I can fully adjust into it well.
But I am excited to be earning money.

And that's pretty much all there is to update right now.

We house sat last week while his mom and brother went on vacation, so we just got home yesterday. Yesterday (Saturday) was Doug & his Pop's birthday. Doug and I went out for lunch at Texas Roadhouse, which was phenomenal! And then we stopped in at the house to see my family & then we took his Pop and strawberry shortcake birthday cake. Then Doug went fishing with my brother most of the night. Today we cleaned his moms so she didn't have too much of a dirty house to come home to.
And now I'm about ready to pile up in bed and get ready for the coming week.
Tomorrow (today) is mine and Doug's 11 & 3 year anniversary. 11 together, 3 married! :-D

I hope everyone has been doing well. I'm WAYYY behind on blog reading so I need to catch up on that.

Hope everyone has a great Monday & a great week!!