Too bad it flat out ended once I went to sleep that night. Friday was a hard smack of reality.
I refrained from talking about this in light of the Newtwon/Sandy Hook Tragedy, because compared to it, my problems seem so small. But, I'll post about it now.
My weekend was HARD for me. And it was all because of my fish dying.
We stayed at my mother in laws Thursday night. Hubs went there to sit with his little bro (11) while we were gone so we just stayed the night.
I woke up at around 10:30-maybe, to phone call, after phone call, after phone call. It was my brother and mom. My mom was hurting so he was gonna take her to the hospital to be checked out (she had a heart attack years ago and had no idea until she went to the hospital from being sick, so needless to say she extra careful especially if there is a pain in her chest or back). He needed me to be there to take her home because he was goin to have to leave for work. So, I had to force myself to wake up, eat a piece of pizza real quick, pack our stuff, drop it off at home, then off to the hospital..worried.
Thankfully blood work came back good, it was either just a pulled muscle or some arthritis, they gave her an anti-inflammatory and sent her home. We had to stop at the pharmacy, which is actually when I heard about the shooting in CT. Well we got home, I was home long enough to check my email and watch some of the news coverage and then I left with my mother-in-law for some Christmas shopping.
A little time passes and we were on our way to eat and to hit our last stop before getting home when my husband called and asked where we were, and proceeds to tell me "Well, Basstardo is dead." (yes, my fishes name was Basstardo...he was a bass..YES..A BASS..from the lake.) I was speechless. My ma-in-law and I ate Applebees and I tried to not cry over my food...I did pretty well. We hit Walmart and then home.
I got home & kind of lost it. I walked into my room and he had already take the tank out and everything. He waited on me to get there to bury him. I sobbed. Then I changed into pjs and went to bed and sobbed. I blamed myself. I still blame myself. I've cried everyday about that little guy. We kept his tank in our bedroom & it was my bedside lamp pretty much. I had a 10 Gallon fish tank on my bedside table with a bass that would stare at me all. the. time. We had him for 2.5 years. And now, it's gone, he's gone. There's a void there. All I have is a small fishbowl with a snail in it now. I miss him, so much. I know what happened, which is why I blame myself. His damn air filter kicked off and there was no one there to know and to fix it. And the two times I did come in (before and right after the hospital) even though they were short, well the 2nd time was longer (which makes it worse),I didn't go check on him (which is out of the ordinary for me). I feel like a bad pet mommy. I genuinely don't like being in my room right now, all because of that. And I try not to go to bed until I'm sure I'll pass out because I have no one to keep me company, so to speak, until I go to sleep anymore. BLAH!
Saturday was kind of busy, I had a birthday party to go to. Came home and pretty much lounged the rest of the night, spent time with the fam.
Sunday it rained steadily alll day & I didn't want to do shit, so aside from one trip to Walmart, I lounged. We all did. and watched the Falcons
Today, wasn't much different. I took my mom to town, then I tried to go Christmas shopping. Just wasn't feeling it. I want to rewind to Thursday when I had a fantastic night and my f'king fish was still alive. :(
Here's my dude. Gonna miss seeing his spastic ass all the time.
RIP Basstardo! ♥
Anyway, don't forget tomorrow is the blogger day of silence. Post the button and nothing else.
For said button refer to my post from Saturday,