Tuesday, August 20, 2013

What did I really do?

So, at the end of my post I mentioned that Sunday was a little hard on me as well, aside from the fact that we had just been to a funeral the day before.
Sunday we had a birthday party to go to for my cousin.
My uncle didn't utter the first word to me.
I haven't spoken to him since around Christmas.
As far as I know, he took something I posted on Facebook the wrong way.
(As in he took an indirect kind of post and was certain it was all about him and/or his family)
Argued with my dad about it.
Deleted me & we haven't spoke to one another since. At all -I think-.
So, I knew that going to his daughters party would be a bit awkward.
I left wanting to cry.

But believe it or not that's the second time, just between last Wednesday to Sunday, that I was given the cold shoulder/avoided by a family member that I hold dear to me. 
Thursday , at the funeral home, I noticed when she first arrived, I smiled at her & she smiled back. That was the extent. I actually noticed at one point we were headed down the hall towards each other & she turned and went the other way. I walked outside at one point where my brother, her and some of our other cousins were standing and talking...she walked back in.
My brother even said later that night that she said that "we pissed her off, bad" ("we" being my mom and I)
What I did to her? I haven't the SLIGHTEST idea.
I spoke to her after my birthday, she's actually the person who told me about my Great Aunt being diagnosed with cancer, and that has been the last time I even talked to her. I noticed about 3.5 weeks ago she deleted me (and my mom) on FB. What did I even do to piss her off?! What the hell did my mom even do?
I shouldn't let it bother me so much. And normally it wouldn't.
I guess I just want to know why.
It may not bother me so much if I could just. know. why.

I haven't stepped up and spoke to either one of them, as much as I wanted to, it wasn't the time nor place for either one.

I'm a bitch. Admittedly. Always have been. I'm very opinionated, and I'm pretty openly opinionated.
Sometimes I express my opinions without being asked, most other times I'm mum about it unless asked.
Do I take to FB (or anywhere on the net hello, blog) to rant or express my opinion, of course. So. do. they.
I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be & quite frankly I don't want to be.
I'll also not tell you what you want to hear just because you want to hear it.
If you ask my opinion, I'll try to present it well in order to not hurt feelings too bad.
If I post a general post, there is a reason it's general. It applies to multiple people.
You can get mad at me for talking about an issue that happens to also pertain to you.
Trust me, there are many, mannnnyyy posts that I am sure are/have been about me.
I get it.
Hell I don't know.
I'm just racking my brain wondering what the hell it is that I even did. More so to my cousin.
I basically know what pissed my uncle off. But my cousin? At this point in time, I'm clueless.

As I said it shouldn't be bothering me & most days I don't even think about it. But this weekend, with both of them having the opportunity to turn a cold shoulder, it bothered me.
And then, also on Sunday, my brother blamed something that was his fault on me & that did me in. I was so ready for Monday. I'm so glad it's a new week.

It's really hard when friends upset you.
It even worse when family does.
And it's even more worse when it's family that you are closer with.
Anyone else have this issue?

Just clearing my mind.

Happy Tuesday and stuff.



  1. Oh girl, I hear ya. When you don't know, and when you can't help but hurt someone, those are the worst! You can email me if you need to talk, for sure. Sorry you're going through this. xox

  2. I am new to your blog and read your previous post. my condolences go out to you and your family. I too have relatives that have argued with my mom or questioned me about the posts that I place on FB. They tend to think that it is directed at them when in reality it is not.

    I can only imagine everything that you are going through at the moment. I do hope that things gradually get better with time.


Thanks for taking the time to stop by & comment! It makes my day!