Wednesday, November 6, 2013

My niece kind of made me paranoid of drinking.

That's weird to say isn't it?

There is a slight paranoia when it comes to drinking and not knowing if you're pregnant.
I think that may be the case for most women (who may have babies on the brain).
Like, my nephews mother had drank a good bit on New Years Eve and I think maybe a week later found out she was pregnant. A friend of mine found out she was pregnant while she was hungover. (Both kids are fine, might I add, I'm not trying to throw either of the moms under the bus, just pointing out that this actually happens.)
I'm sure plenty of people have drank, if not gotten drunk, sometime relatively close to before they found out they were pregnant. I mean, if you don't know and you don't suspect that you are, then you don't know not to drink.

As if that's not enough to make you slightly paranoid about drinking.

Then there are stories and instances that are similar to the story about my niece.
There is a reason I call her the best surprise our family ever received.
Because she was very much a surprise.
As in, her mom went to the hospital late one night with severe back pain & found out she was pregnant probably about 30 or so minutes before having to have an emergency C-section.
(Have you ever watched 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant'? Similar case right here.)
Luckily she was only about 3 weeks early and except for a clubbed foot (which turned out fine) she was perfectly healthy.
That was 6 years ago. I was 18 or 19.

A few years later, I was taken off of birth control and so of course my periods went back to being wacky.
Having an irregular period + unprotected sex + our "what ever happens, happens" attitude about pregnancy= Paranoid Sissy. At that point we we're trying, per se, but we weren't preventing either, we would welcome it if it happened.

Well, for reasons other than this I had already cut down on any drinking anyway.
So this was more of a reason to cut down even more.
And I've been that way ever since.
If/when my period gets on a track of being normal, I'm fine and know that should an occasion come up I can probably have a drink or two.
When it whacks out, paranoia spikes.
It kind of sucks.
Even though I usually only really drink on occasion, the who unknown factor freaks me out.

Hell not even to do with drinking, just the not knowing freaks me out in general.

It's almost a good things though, something like that does help with wanting to do as good as possible for myself and my body. It's also a large reason I'm in this struggle to get in some kind of better shape and get healthier.
Also as a result, I keep a stock of pregnancy test and take them every so often, or if I ever feel different. Poor wallet of mine.
Maybe I'll see a positive in one, one day.

Super random post, I know, but it was on my mind because I had a couple of beers over the weekend and I just felt like they didn't sit well. And because my period has taken a break (aka "normal") I was all "what if..."

((I know I haven't talked much about the whole baby situation in a bit, but I just have been pushing it to the back of my mind a lot. I got my reminder in the mail the other day that it's time for me to schedule my yearly. Yikes. So that means I'm going back into the "lions den" and going to have to talk about my options again. I'm confused, I don't know what to say and saying "I don't know" is more like saying no to a doctor. So, it's barreling to the forefront of my brain again. Trying to sort things out in my mind.))


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